Harry the free agent
by Woman of looks and substance
Summary: Harry does not have to stay on the corrupt light side. He leaves to join Voldemort and will become so much more.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Harry lay in his damp and cold cupboard under the stairs and cried as if there was no tomorrow. He had just been reassigned the cupboard for "daring to have his freaky friends think they could threaten Vernon Wilfried Decamp Dursley" Vernon had taken all of his things and burned them upon arrival to the house. What bothered Harry the most was that on the platform he saw Dumbledore hidden amoungst the Weasleys casting an imperious curse on the Dursleys and since the had been a lot crueler. He had just lost Sirius and the light side had betrayed apparently betrayed him as he saw all of his friends giving smug looks as Vernon grabbed Harry by the throat out of the train station. Harry let the darkness consume him. He would join Voldemort despite him killing his parents.

Meanwhile

The Burrow

"I would like to propose a toast to Bellatrix wherever she may be for killing Sirius", said Dumbledore as the Weasley's and Hermione granger banged their goblets in approval. "That arsehole we get paid to be friends with didn't deserve to hav a father figure we need to find a way to get him killed by the dark lord the sooner the better" said Ronald earning another roar of approval. Hermione giggled and sighed she hated Potter because his grades were higer thanhers without trying and he was just flat out smarter than her, she liked to consider herself the brightest which of her age but in reality she was only fourth in her year and only the third ranked girl. It was Tracy Davis in the top spot followed by Daphne Greengrass then Potter then her. She had permission to eliminate those three according to Dumbledore "in time" so she could graduate No. 1. They all laughed and played poker gambling money all of which was stolen from the account of Harry Potter. They all played until Dumbledore who was severely drunk, toppled over.

Harry was just finishing packing his items to join the dark lord. Hedwig was already at Slytherin castle waiting for him. Just as he was about to leave Vernon was at the door with a shotgun. Harry was forced to make breakfast. Harry wanted to destroy them but he knew e would be in trouble and alert Dumblefork. That was it he would dispose of them without magic. "Come and get it" he yelled as one the Dursleys glided in they never saw the frozen turkey in Harry's hand connect to their heads knocking them out. The Dursley's had a coal stove in the basement and that was where Harry folded Vernon up in and lit. "Goodbye Vernon" he sneered Petunia and Dudley were put in the oven.

Finnallly it was time to go!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Dumbledore was in his office strutting his stuff grinning like a cat at the thought of Harry being abused. Harry's torment at the hands of his relatives was what Dumbledore thought of for a patrones. Just then his boyfriend who was a muggle named hank came in. He was a muggle firefighter who had a large hump on his neck. Dumbledore liked taking lotion and slapping it on the hump for it made a nice noise. Dumbledore and Hank made out and soon he dismissed him but not before he made sure to slap his neck a few times.

Professor Snape was in the dungeons brewing a potion when Dumbledore stumbled in scratching his crotch uncontrollably and demanded that Severus make love to him. Snape retaliated by sending a cutting curse and cutting of Dumbles bits. As Dumbledore ran to his office crying to regrow his manhood Snape picked up the chunks and pieces to add to his soup to make Filch.


	3. Chapter 3

After his hangover Dumbledore decided it was time to regrow his bits and go check on Harry. He had a love potion keyed to Ginny ready as he had a grand scheme. With Harry likely dealing from the loss of Sirius he could take advantage and steal the inheritance to add to his own already vast fortune. But when Dumbledore arrived upon privet drive hevwas shocked at the yellow do not cross tape and was horrified to find the Dursley's dead. This was a blow as it meant Harry was at this point independent and he could not have that if he were to cover his ass. "Harry are you there" Dumbledore called out frantically. The homicide investigator on scene noticing the strange man tried to apprehend him for questioning but before he could the man disappeared.

Back at the castle Dumbledore was furiosly trying to fix his tracking devises that tracked Harry's movements like a surveillance camera. Just yesterday he watched Harry shower with it and it worked fine. For now he needed company as in his boyfriend "ah Filch me boy" said Dumbledore with a moan.


End file.
